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it's big monumental 020202 day! wooooo. things that i am doing today: going to a 1st birthday party (meaning the kid is 1. i don't know how else to say that?) and going to a wedding reception. woooooo. everybody do kAr-azY stuff, it's 020202!

i'm starting the day off like an old rich lady, eating melon and strawberries. "but it's 020202!" you say, "how could you find such luscious extravagant fruit in the middle of winter?" of course, you wouldn't be saying this if it hadn't snowed (for, like, the ONLY time this winter, forcing the tv stations to whip up "STORM 02" graphics - see circa-97 madtv for further reference). but i gots me dealz on this fruit. $1.99 for the strawberries! which are, um, "fresas frescas" exported from mexico by "frexport". they are really into that "fre-" thing down there. $1.99 for half a canteloupe! ok, that's not such a deal, but i was desperate for fruit, especially DIET fruit. like less-old rich ladies, "oh, all i ate today was a melon in the morning and four grapefruits. the ball is next week!"

kid you not, i have grapefruits in the fridge, and cabbage soup in the tupperware. that didn't stop me from ordering pizza last night.

but! but but butt...here's a good dieting trick. ok, it also works on the principle of malnutrition and starvation, but it is a great tool for curbing gluttony. put crushed red chilli, you know, the flakes in and on and around EVERYTHING, and your mouth will be burning so much you'll not want to take another bite. this is esp. effective with pizza. however, the combination of searing chilli and extra salty pizza (sodium contents augmented by toppings of kalamata olives, sundried tomatoes, and feta cheese) will make you have dreams that you have gotten out of bed to get water. and when you finally do wake up, you will lose more hydration crying about the fact that you HAVEN'T gotten water yet, at all!

so, where was i?

oh yes. chili. diet. my brother used to make curries so hot that i could eat them. i'd eat rice to cool my mouth and fill myself up that way. and you totally lose your appetite when your mouth is burning. that's the "best part," as they say in the business.

i am trying to slim down for a reason...i have a ROKK KONCERT coming up on feb. 19th. i have been practicing quite a bit and can't really feel my left fingers hitting the keys. cool! my callouses are coming back! it's acceptable to be a fat drummer (check out how many are out there!), and you can be a fat singer, especially if you can belt it (Heart's "Crazy on You - exhibit A), but a fat guitarist? ooh, nono. though technically, i am a drummer, but i won't be able to hide behind a snare drum and a hi-hat, the only percussion we'll be needing. damn!

oh well. i guess i'll go finish off that pizza with some MIRACLE FAT-BURNING GRAPEFRUIT slices, dipped in MIRACLE FAT-BURNING CABBAGE SOUP. then i'll have the MIRACLE FAT-BURNING SUBway sandwich. (i actually KNOW one of the people in those subway ads)

oh yeah! 020202. you KNOW it's big; britney spears is the musical guest AND host on saturday night live tonight!