�

i'm boiling eggs for my breakfast. boil boil boil, you sacs o' protein!

i'm going to try my mother's tried-and-true weight loss program. yorkshire + dieting in the 80s, a la cottage-cheese-and-grapefruits style. "i had a boiled egg, grapefuit, and piece of toast every morning!" that's great, you were also having a side of nervous breakdown to go with that, too.

did you know that there are actually herbal diet pills (no ephedra, sorry) called "to dieT for"? that's crazy! what are they REALLY trying to say, do you think?

i know, i know, AGAIN with the weight. oy, doesn't this one ever stop? well, there has been a resurgence of self-hatred, thanks to the fact that i saw an old friend from high school this weekend. don't get me wrong, the visit was brilliant - she's still the same, we enjoyed some beers and a bowl, which wasn't far removed from our high school interactions - but she looked great, too. and showing her pictures from 5 years ago and things in between really solidified how fast i grew out of my pants. REALLY grew out of them. it makes me wonder what the Me then would have thought of the Me now, since i was pretty miserable about my weight and body at that point, too.

and of course, that begs the response "see! you will NEVER be happy!" but shit, now that i'm even fatter than the fat that i was, i would be grateful for the fat that i was. i really was the "average" then. i could quite easily try on pants and have them fit right. buy things ALMOST right off the shelves. but the pants, the pants! i yearn for the pants.

i lamented in my head that if she had only visited me 2 years ago, she would have seen the "hot" me. i showed socks pictures from that time, just when we started going out, and she said "damn, my girlfriend is HOT!" and i kept correcting her, saying "WAS hot." don't i sound like the most miserable person to be around?

hee hee hee.

i think i really need a crappy, on-yer-feet-for-12-hours kind of job again. not enough 15 minute breaks in the world to take in those calories. especially if i worked at starfucks, where the poor saps go on their breaks, and get in line behind customers to order a coffee and muffin! can you believe it? that company won't even spare a precious DROP of their sludge for their employers, who have to work in a small space, with too many perky "baristas", and steaming hot water/pipes/milk frothers. my bro is actually liking working for near-minimum-wage at tim hortons since they actually let their employees HELP THEMSELVES twice a shift! what a difference.

oh well. this started as a discussion of boiled eggs, didn't it.

boil boil boil.

oh yeah, my reading week is over, and i'm officially FUCKED!