�

sometimes i have to wonder if my dad didn't parent with the help of a word-a-day calendar or something.

common phrases heard during my childhood included:

"clean your room - it smells like a cesspool in here!"

"what do you mean, you weren't top of the class? that's ludicrous; i know you can do better."

another thing. this morning i made myself laugh out loud at the thought of my dad as a "survivor" contestant. go on, try it with your own dad. it's funny.

at first i thought my dad could make the cut - he's been running marathons for over 20 years, he grew up in the country, he's head of administration, and a diplomat...but really, i think the people skills wouldn't last too long. his favorite pseudonyms for co-workers and "friends" alike are "asshole", "bastard", and "jackass". and "ludicrous idiot" sometimes.

my dad's final words would be "they were all a bunch of assholes. my being kicked off is ludicrous. this place is a cesspool anyway."