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ok, due to popular demand, i will transcribe the lyrics to my song, "juice for life" (which is the name of a vegetarian restaurant here)

i wrote it when i first moved here, just messing around with my brother's friend's guitar. and my brother. i was trying to play "romeo & juliet" (indigo girls version) and started singing about a dream i had had a while back. the other verses came from other dreams with the recurring motif of the Penis.

i performed it the night after writing the song at an open mike night at a cafe. i followed a woman with a harp who was singing about unicorns and moonbeams.

without further ado..."juice for life"

**not for the easily offended/disgusted/offended**

a drunk asian businessman
stumbles into my room
he staggers forward and i can smell the sake
and sense the doom
he passes out on my floor
so what do i do?
i pull down his pants and give him a hand job

a science teacher
is doing experiments
he says "c'mon over here, kids,
come and take a look at this"
so i go on over to see
but what does he do?
pulls it out and gives himself a hand job, too

*chorus*
now i don't know what it means,
having all these crazy dreams
maybe i want a hand job, too
can i be part of your hand job crew?

i wake up one morning to find
i've got a sausage
feel like giving it
a good massage
reach on over to grab the
vaseline
'cuz by this time i'm just
achin' to cream

the vaseline now it don't
seem to please
so i run to go and get me
some groceries
run up to a woman in
aisle three
say, "hey there, do you wanna give me a hand job?"

now the woman, she don't wanna
choke my goose
so i head on over to
the section of produce
i find my self a nice ripe
canteloupe
drill a hole and give myself a *melon* job

*chorus*
now i don't know what it means,
having all these penis dreams
maybe i want a hand job, too
can i be part of your hand job crew?

i have go down to emergency
you know the one on tv
with george clooney
run up to the doctor
whose leg is lame
say, "why don't you grab a hold of my long flesh cane?"

*chorus*
now i don't know what it means
having all these fucked up dreams
maybe i want a hand job, too
can i be part of your hand job crew?

*army call!*
now i don't know but i've been told
too many hand jobs can make you old!
hairy palms and blindness, too
still want to be part of that crew

hand job....

fin