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i told myself i'd just check my email. no playing on the computer. BAD. don't do it.

i have a big ominous (but garish green and yellow) dresser in my room now. this is the one that my old roommate Dirty left behind, and i painted 'er up. we'll see how she looks in the natural light that "hits" (or doesn't) this room, and how much my eyes, brain, and heart will hurt with it clashing against these dirty yellow walls. perhaps it will move me to paint.

my tuition was cut down to a mere $1,100-so as revealed by a new invoice from school - the $5,000 grant was slapped on that puppy. it made me smile so much looking at the numbers. goofy-like.

my head still hurts - developed this headache last night and woke up with it. naproxen naproxen pop another naproxen, big blue horse pill. i did my best to eat today - i stole half a bowl of raisin bran from i-boy's stash, had a muffin (over the course of the day), coffee, orange juice, more coffee, and a yoghurt. and i deigned to buy a bottle of water, too. pretend to be healthy again, i tell myself. saw fred today and he recommended potassium to bring my appetite back. i thought a nice dose of weed might do the trick. however, even being rip-roaringly stoned last night, my munchies were thwarted by the effort of rounding up food.

despite this stress-induced anorexia of sorts, i went to the grocery store to buy things that might be palatable, or at least effortless to eat. things like applesauce. things that do not require chewing or opening my mouth too much, because those are the last things i want to do right now (i don't know why). damn, i should have gotten some instant mashed potatoes! (i'm also having problems preparing food...this coming from the girl who obsessively buys cookbooks at any opportunity)

i got a tin of gatorade powder, which i had wanted to get anyway for those future (inevitable, i'm sure) hangovers.

things that mush, things that crack. those are the things i might be inclined to eat. anything else? bleeeeeah.

OH. i know why i'm writing this. i sent an email off to prof. h. professionally begging him to help me.

good god, man, respond if you know what's good/easy for you.

(not a veiled threat.)