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what a dull valentine's day. i guess if you're in a relationship, one that is nauseatingly sappy and gift-laden on a low day, then valentine's day is not much of a stretch.

we went for sushi (which was DAMN FINE) and didn't go to the burlesque show that miss iota attended. we were supposed to, but socks felt icky, and i felt cheap and tired. i wanted to have time at home for sex, but hey, none of that, either. *sigh*

i see fred today, and i think i'm going to bring up something that i feel really...shitty about, i guess. it seems that there is a man courting my mother, and she likes the attention. she absolutely deserves the attention, but i said to her "i don't want a new daddy!" it was half-joking but she seemed to think i was serious. she knew i would be "the hardest to tell" about it, my brothers, of course, being perfect-angelic-whatever-you-want-momma's boys.

my mother deserves nothing more than to feel happy, and wanted, or whatever, but there is a part of me, the gut reaction, that says she's still my "mummy" and she doesn't kiss men, not even my father, and i was borne from a kinder egg.

but i got an e-mail this morning telling me that she's decided her and Frank the Czech are best off being "good friends." i don't know whether this has anything to do with my reaction, and the selfish child inside of me is very satisfied with this result. but the adult in me, the one who is now friends with my mother rather than simply her charge, is feeling quite low at it all.