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man, there are so many people behind me. knowing that my eyesight is so good, and i can read the e-mails that people are writing at these computers when *I* am in line, i'm just a tad nervous.

so.

so school things are clearing up a little. i might actually be doing an independant study, if i get off my ass and actually get that all organized. what a concept.

yesterday was such a bad day. i spent so much of it crying and i can't really tell if it was a resurgence of post-traumatic stress or what. i think seeing it again, and this time hearing stories, from people who survived and the families of those who didn't, made it even worse. very real. making the footage seem more than just something unreal happening over and over again, but...whatever. it was such a small part of my otherwise shitty day, but really did a GREAT fucking job of setting the mood.

i have to learn to harness the power of naive optimism. it eludes me.