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i'm invigilating.

this is totally "Let The Students Cheat" day. i'm so tired at the end of this insane 50-hour work-week, i don't really care what they do. the students i have here are actually pretty dull in terms of not being total cheaters. i have a mature student, an asian nerdy dude, a nice indian girl, and two engineering students. no troublemakers in the lot of them. pah. thank god i could connect my laptop to the internet or else i would really be perfecting my Windows Card Games Skills.

i ran into socks last week in the market. she looked very slight and hugged me for a long time. i felt concerned about her, and really happy to see her, but i wasn't sad. i wanted to hang out. i wanted to talk. but she thinks that i either have alterior motives, like, i'm trying to fuck with her by being friendly and...well, existing...OR..or or or i don't even know what. we were basically buying the same groceries, eating the same thing, continuing the habits we cultivated together while living our new lives apart. she was tearing up by the end of it, and i left it in her hands, once again, but i'm pretty impatient.

i have a hard time NOT thinking that people like her better than me. people like h., and maybe even r. they live all clustered together now, inhabiting the same postal code - the one i left behind - and though i'm but blocks away i feel like i'm on another planet. my attempts to cultivate communication have failed. i blame myself when i don't hear from people, but i'm not sure why, since when i send emails i don't get replies. when i send the "we should get together, because a haunt you frequent is nextdoor to me" invites, nothing - nada - zip. i don't know.

i miss my old phone number, too.

i had that for 6 years. it was a good one.

nobody seems to know my new one.

i live above a flag store now. i don't live in the bubbles.