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whoo boy.

i had another al gore dream last night.

i'm not american or anything, and i've stopped paying attention to the election (i thought that they should just have a giant, nation-wide DO-OVER the moment i heard anything was screwy...it always worked for two-square and casual tennis games, man. plus that way all those nader supporters would rush to keep dubya from stinkin' up the oval office with smoked meat, chicken-fried steak, and gunpowder).

i have dreams of al gore for an entirely different reason.

deep down, where my heterosexuality lingers and my adolescent self is still decorating the walls with images of new kids and johnny depp, i'm painfully attracted to this man.

i obsess over al gore, for brief periods at a time, and then i get over him.

the first dreams were a few years ago. there were two in a week. the first consisted of him coming to some rally or something, and catching my eye (as i bored holes into him with my wanting desirous gaze??). i think he was in this small hut with me, and he had something on his tie and i was wiping it off for him. he said "i really shouldn't be in here, what with what happened with bill and stuff...they're keeping a close eye on me...i can't be in small spaces alone with an attractive woman" or some pap like that. later, he was "introduced" to me and i think i stroked his tie and said how nice it was....

the second dream, he was at a university rally and i think took off his wedding ring when he saw me (i know, i know, he's rico suave...) and we talked campus politics (i'm not even interested in my school's campus politics! but for al? anything.) then there was something about my upstairs neighbours fucking and the plaster on my apartment ceiling crashing down, which i was sweeping up, and i found a letter on my couch that said basically "if you ever need anything, here's my number at the whitehouse. call me. al." and i ran to my window to see his little yellow hatchback speeding away.

um. yeah....so last night, or this morning, he finally got me.

i can't remember much of the rest of the dream other than standing on some guy's shoulders to get a better view of something (and no, i don't think it was another al gore rally!) i had a scrapbook or a photo album, and there were several clipped articles of al, and he was sitting on a ledge asking me about them. i sat on the ledge, shyly flipping through the book, embarassed that he had caught my obsession with him. and then we kissed. quite a bit.

in waking life i look at al and think "oh, i could never love a man with those crooked bottom teeth," but in the dream i noticed these things about him - i wasn't idealizing or fixing his flaws - and i didn't care.

i woke up with my girlfriend's alarm squeaking at me, and pined for al's strong hands to reach into consciousness and pull me back...

when i did fall back asleep, he was a goofy nerd in high school, falling over himself in the halls. kinda like skippy from family ties.

he doesn't get angry like bill clinton. his "boringness" is merely the symptom of a shy, quiet, reflective, and poetic soul. he loves the environment. he smoked reefer in nam, but didn't want to be there. he had to for his country. he still wants to be president because he KNOWS that the american people voted for him. and it would be a crime for the world to have Dubya there instead.

**sigh**

i shall write a poem for my al...

i shall call it "gored by al"

al al
how i dream each night
al al
your kisses so right
al al
some say that you're fat
al al
i have no problem with that
al al
you kissed tipper with tongue
al al
but you know i'm the one
...or else...
why would you haunt me so
al al
if the truth you did not know
gore gore
it's you i adore
gore gore
i really can't take much more
gore gore
you are gone when i wake
gore gore
you leave my heart...to ache

(i didn't say it was going to be any good!)

to sleep, perchance to dream...of another night with sweet al gore. perhaps by the end of the week we'll have consummated our love.

perhaps perhaps perhaps.