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i thought i would change up the pace a little, bring it down a notch, relax, breathe deeply, let your muscles go looser and looser with every breath, and just reeeeellaaaxxx.

sorry, i miss my cooldown sessions from my workout classes. that relief of "thank god it's fucking over!"

so the point is i'm going to give you some background info. perhaps not F.A.Q. because no one asks me questions. so "things that should be f.a.q." or "ttsbfaq". doesn't quite have the same ring to it.

* i am a 22 year old lesbo living in a metropolis (ummmm...i think it is. doesn't feel like it) of canada.

* i study psychology at this humungous psychology-loving university. except it only likes science-psychology, not, like, clinical psychology, like i should be studying.

* so i also study history, sociology, and freud to keep my inner liberal arts persona happy

* i think i'm fat most of the time

* but i'm not; i'm only slightly stocky

* despite these rampaging insecurities, i appear very self-confident and strong to all observers

* i was never popular per se, but never not. i had friends in the popular crowd, the freaky crowd, the geeky crowd, etc. i stopped by at social groups like a host mingling at a cocktail party

* my father is a diplomat, which means i've lived all around the world. so if i mention maids or countries, it's not because i'm a snob

* relating to my father's job, and his very bad financial choices, i'm the poorest little rich girl around

* i finally fell in love with someone not 10+ years older than myself, and this proved to be a good strategy. we're "together".

* i never had a boyfriend or girlfriend, not even elementary school style, before this. so yeah, i'm a little inexperienced and very nervous

* my dad had an affair with a woof woof dog of a woman after i left home. he now lives on the other side of the world to my mother, but they are still married

* i have two brothers. i probably have weird issues involving men because there were four men (including my grandfather who has lived with us for 25 years) and just my mother and i

* people who know me think i'm hilarious. i don't appeal to a broader audience, however

* one of the main reasons i wanted to be a psychologist is because i had such problems with them when i was younger; i wanted to be a psychologist that even i would have talked to when i was 13

* i have run out of stuff. maybe you should put the "a.q." in "f.a.q."