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oh yeah. 2.45-4.00pm. that's some wicked face time with the Hotster.

and once again i am presented with the fact that when i'm in his presence, i *feel* normal. i mean, i may act like a bit of a fool and sound even worse, but my heart is not palpitating or anything.

and he shook my hand twice.

but it felt normal. and calm. and good.

so i totally don't need (that's right, "need") to stalk him anymore.

do i feel like i don't LOVE him anymore?

hm. interesting issue. there were some mistakes on the "rrrarsexy" front, which would definitely decrease the intensity of hot, throbbing "love" -
*i saw his forearms. do you know how long i have dreamt about his forearms?!? and they *didn't* send me spinning.
*his shirt, a short-sleeved red plaid number, was not as dapper as per usual. in fact, and it almost pains me to say this, it had a zipper closure. not buttons.
*ok, now this really hurts. he wore...sandals. but they were much closer to shoes than slippers - i swear! i didn't see much of his feet, but his toes weren't the evidence of strict german pedicure techniques as i had imagined. (you don't think i imagined this?? are you kidding?)

*sigh* so. but it was so good to be reminded of many of his features, such as his glasses - i've seen so many similar glasses lately, but not *his* glasses. and his chuckly-sort-of laugh, which sounds even nicer when i've made an intentional joke. his expressive hands, and super-politeness. he's one of the good guys.

and i think my mission is to make him more real than super, so that the intensity of my feelings DOES die down. it's a path i've often sought. he had a few flaws this time, footwear choice *maybe* being one of them. but he also talked about his wife (ugh, i was right - she *IS* smart: a lawyer, and she even wrote about forced sterilization during the third reich for her dissertation. dammit, i'm not the only woman who he could wax about these things with...) and even mentioned his kid. all those tings that i kinda sorta knew but didn't. reality. check.

but i wouldn't be as ballsy in approaching him and being as casual as i have been if i didn't know he was the type of guy who could not only handle it, but really encourages it, too. he told me i was a really good writer, in a few different ways. he related to a lot of my anxieties, and offered up stories of his own. he gave me some advice and told me to keep him "in the loop." yeah, i still totally love him. but for better reasons now.

and he's still getting a present from poland. i have no doubt about that.