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my name is dick feb 16 2001 - 5.31 pm
ok, due to popular demand, i will transcribe the lyrics to my song, "juice for life" (which is the name of a vegetarian restaurant here) i wrote it when i first moved here, just messing around with my brother's friend's guitar. and my brother. i was trying to play "romeo & juliet" (indigo girls version) and started singing about a dream i had had a while back. the other verses came from other dreams with the recurring motif of the Penis. i performed it the night after writing the song at an open mike night at a cafe. i followed a woman with a harp who was singing about unicorns and moonbeams. without further ado..."juice for life" **not for the easily offended/disgusted/offended** a drunk asian businessman stumbles into my room he staggers forward and i can smell the sake and sense the doom he passes out on my floor so what do i do? i pull down his pants and give him a hand job a science teacher is doing experiments he says "c'mon over here, kids, come and take a look at this" so i go on over to see but what does he do? pulls it out and gives himself a hand job, too *chorus* now i don't know what it means, having all these crazy dreams maybe i want a hand job, too can i be part of your hand job crew? i wake up one morning to find i've got a sausage feel like giving it a good massage reach on over to grab the vaseline 'cuz by this time i'm just achin' to cream the vaseline now it don't seem to please so i run to go and get me some groceries run up to a woman in aisle three say, "hey there, do you wanna give me a hand job?" now the woman, she don't wanna choke my goose so i head on over to the section of produce i find my self a nice ripe canteloupe drill a hole and give myself a *melon* job *chorus* now i don't know what it means, having all these penis dreams maybe i want a hand job, too can i be part of your hand job crew? i have go down to emergency you know the one on tv with george clooney run up to the doctor whose leg is lame say, "why don't you grab a hold of my long flesh cane?" *chorus* now i don't know what it means having all these fucked up dreams maybe i want a hand job, too can i be part of your hand job crew? *army call!* now i don't know but i've been told too many hand jobs can make you old! hairy palms and blindness, too still want to be part of that crew hand job.... fin last time***next time
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