�

still in ottawa. i calm myself sometimes by going outside into my brother's backyard and fondling his luscious budding pot plants, near-ripe for the harvest. they leave my fingers sticky sweet like i've gorged on candy. soon enough i'll be gorging on cheetos and bags of cracker jack....all in good time.

i am, of course, slightly ill. it makes sense; i haven't been really sick in a good long while, but i've had the fun with my family, as well as the realization that my classes - in toronto - start tomorrow, not monday as i had thought/hoped. today i bought a few meager school supplies with the hope that it would magically prepare me for my foray into graduate studies.

i told my mom i'd be the only poor kid in class without a shiney new PDA. but i'll also be the only kid in class who has the thai alphabet on her laptop keyboard.

my mother is dyeing her hair blond for her trip to england, leaving tonight. she wanted me to cut it, but i worried that both an extreme hair colouring and a choppy, possibly patchy haircut might not be the best way to arrive. plus, she is having a rendezvous with her first lover, an old boyfriend named mark who seemingly can't get over my mother. i tell people it's because she gave him her "flower" then said "i'd rather have a cup of tea, actually." sounds far too familiar - i had rigged a game of "truth or dare"; i set it up for adrian - the boy i loved at the time - to french me (my first time!)

i said, "what do i do?" and he replied "just close your eyes, open your mouth, and i'll do all the work." after the requisite 10 seconds or so i pulled away, wiped my lips and said "eew, it felt like i had a goldfish in my mouth!"

i don't think he was too impressed.

alas, he wasn't around to take my flower.

my het flower is still up for grabs, actually...maybe i should track him down. after all, he was my first french kiss, kiss, and slow dance (all the results of truth or dare games that i craftily manipulated) - i believe it was the classic motley crue ballad, "without you."

i can't hear vince neil without shedding a tear *sniff*