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i don't even know what the date is. i just know that i'm running out of money and as it stands, there seems to be no job in sight. of course, i should put my faith in the Almighty as Pat Robertson tells me every morning (being unemployed has given me ample time to catch up on the 700 club) but alas, i think i'm too stupid or ugly or unqualified or my resume smells funny or SOMETHING. there has to be a reason why they aren't calling. maybe because i use the word "culled" on my resume? sounds too close to "killed"?

i didn't even go to the symposium, although i got a little dressed up for it and wore fancy matron-like shoes and irritated my eyes with makeup. nope, i bailed, but i had good reason - i doubted that prof. hottie was even going to be there, and looking back through my files i realized that he had class on tuesdays, and he would probably not shirk his teacherly duties. he's just not that sort of man.

but the most amazing thing DID happen - even if the possibility of seeing him in the flesh was dashed - i went to his homepage, which had been updated since last inspection, and lo and behold - there is now a PICTURE of him on it. yessssss! score one for me - do you know how long i've been waiting for proof of his hotness, or even just something tangible...that i can place under my pillow and go to in times of need? i feel a sudden urge to create a cigar-box shrine. i kept a wee picture of mr. rose in my wallet for years and years, and now - mr. rose II will meet the same fate. in there, you! next to all those old bank receipts and the sticky lint! stay! stay! STAY FOREVER!

and it's such a rocking picture, too. it's like, not some cheezy "i'm posing in my office with shelves of books behind me" kind of pose, or the "surprised prof" look that so many faculty shots end up portraying. no - it's a candid shot of him furrowing his brow. there are an unbelievable number of brow-furrows on his intellectually-scrumptious forehead. did he choose the shot? like, hey, i like this one - use it. or did some staff photog snap him unawares? i don't know. but i love it.

alas, because it is kind of smallish and candid, it does not hold his hotness in an obvious manner, contrasting something like - a 40 foot near-naked Antonio Sabato Jr. calvin klein billboard in times square. there are all those little nuances of his presence that can't be encapsulated in the 1.5 inch x 1.5 inch little space. i need a photo gallery. maybe i can create one. on my bedroom wall. those wonderful "behind the bushes" telescopic lense-type shots. mmm.

unfortunately, prof. hottie is a bit of a vampire because i NEVER just run into him! i lament this every time i repeatedly see Chuck, my child development/moral development psych prof - ALL over campus in his Columbo trench coat and new favorite goatee. why you, chuck? why?

oh well.

i have his picture now.

mine.