�

i've felt like throwing up since last night.

it started with my drinking too much chocolate milk, something i only ever do once every 8 months or so.

i woke up under my bed at 4.30 am and put myself to bed properly.

woke again at a decent time, and knew that i just wanted to throw up my emotional mass, made up of doubt, resentment of self, hurt, stomach acid, and curdled milk.

the extent of my day:
- clutching my stomach
- talking to my cat
- drinking too-sweet lukewarm coffee
- smoking cigarettes

i have an appointment on friday for a gyny exam.

maybe i can ask the good doctor to cut out my uterus and make me a normal person.