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wow. today is the indigo girl's show at the small club. remember, the lesbian dream-turned-nightmare? i completely blocked it from my mind until now. and now, i am hyperventilating. like a panicky lesbian.

i think i shouldn't have read the testimonies of people who talked about seeing them - "oh my god, they were the best i'd ever seen them, it was AMAZING, sorethroat is going to DIE! DIE! DIE!" etc.

ETCETERA.

fuck. i don't want to go haggle with scalpers; that's not in my nature. popstars is on tonight. sitting in front of my tv, watching crap "reality" programming - now THAT is in my nature.

tell me there will be another chance.

there will be another day.

i will one day be so famous and great that i will snap my fingers, and the indigo girls will be serenading me as i tinkle in the bathroom.

it will happen, i know it.

(ARRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH)

(this lesbian is SO disgruntled right now. she might even...even...buy some beer and DRINK IT WARM, right outta the bottle.)

(no. this is a disgruntled lesbian of a NEW less mullet-ridden generation. she will smoke some stale weed and eat to dull the pain)

(the sweet sweet lesbian pain)