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oh, how fucking sick-of-it-all am i today?

my girlfriend and i have been looking for apartments. it's a hurried and harried process, what with mad rushes to five-minute appointments every night, just to know that this place or that is, indeed, not what we're looking for.

we've seen some great places. with GLARING flaws. too far. too expensive. too...short? one place was in this amazing building/house behind a great record store. the woman said "above a store" so i presumed that it was the lovely second floor that i had been staring at every time i passed on the streetcar. it was main floor, but...like a basement. 14 ft ceilings with small boxy windows at the top. a loft bed- yay! a fireplace for decoration-yay! a gas stove and huge kitchen-yay! a clawfoot bathtub-yay! but these FUCKING WEIRD WINDOWS up up up in the sky. i feel short enough at 5"3 already. i don't want to feel like i'm a mouse trapped in a recycling bin. i don't want a ladder to open my tiny windows!!

damn damn damn.

this place we saw today was small and cute and SO CLOSE to university. third floor of a house, HUGE deck. (i want to be able to entertain...) but alas, they gave it to a single guy. he seemed long-term.

and then there's sweet isabella.

it's small enough for my girl, big enough for me. old enough for the both of us. hardwood. great area. great street - isabella. and it's affordable. inclusive. and we DIDN'T MEET THE LANDLORD!

there is a company in the basement, that owns the building i guess. and some dude working after 6 on a friday got to show it to two eager little lesbians, sucker. full of questions he couldn't answer. wanting to fill out the application then and there. but not able to make a lasting impression on the one who would make the decision.

so we will call and call and call. until he says "yes" (oh please let it be yes so we can get this OVER with!) or "no" to send us back out into battle.

i'm so fucking sick of this SEARCHING.

i sang "our house...in the middle of our street..." yesterday. today i clicked the radio on with my remote from bed, and it was in the middle of that song. i told my girl it was a sign.

i hope it's a sign.