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why is my brain trying to crush on people? this is an odd feeling. it feels similar to a bout of depressive melancholy/wistfulness. i think i'm just in that mode of "missing" people, and missing people over which to obsess.

i see fred on monday...hmm, it's never soon enough. i feel like bitching him out or something. i feel like saying "what the hell is going on here? are you wanting to help or should i just dump your ass and find someone else to become dependent on?" ha ha. ummm, no, that would not be good. that would be COUNTER-productive.

i'm really tired. i'm tired of people. tired of humans. really fucking tired of life and of making THE EFFORT. what for? ack. i'm not depressed, i swear; i'm just frigging worn out by time.

but hey.

i'm a blonde now.

lookie here. blonde. does it make a difference? uhhhh. well, judging by this entry, i'm a little spacey. so maybe.

(apologies to un-spacey blondes)