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i feel like crying, all of a sudden.

i mean, i was PMSing last week, i guess, and i didn't feel like crying then. i didn't feel like much of anything.

but now?

it just hit me.

want to cry.

i'm looking for a summer sublet. my quest for independence is becoming increasingly real. me leaving my apartment, my home - is becoming real. thoughts of never being there. being somewhere else.

the funny thing is that i've lived in that stupid apartment for the longest i've ever lived anywhere - close to seven years. my transient status ended there, and now?

i have to remind myself that it became "over" for a reason. a big deep seeded reason that rears its ugly head and seems so inpenetrable.

right now, i just want to go home. i just want to sleep in my bed, with my blankets, and hold a girl i can't stop calling my girlfriend.

i miss her, and i miss us.