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time for another one of my ubiquitous lists:

* for some odd reason, i feel like blasting foreigner. foreigner's greatest hits, which i stole from my dad, but gave back for some odd reason. it's odd because he's not the type of dad who regresses into his 70s rock, which i happen to like. oh no, my friend, he's not THAT kind of "embarrassing dad" but rather the kind who stays HIP and listens to MODERN music, like celine dion, and shania twain, and every fucking "soft rock collection vol. 4" ever put out and not sold in record stores! ack! fuck him! i want to blast "can't get enough of your love" tonight through a cloud of exhaled marihuana smoke! especially that part at the end where the guitar just goes nuts!

* my stomach has been bothering me today - could be in part because of my lunch, but more likely in part (or fully) due to the fact that i have received NO RESPONSE from prof. Hottie yet. *breathebreathebreathe* i figure it's either one of these few things (begin sublist now)

- he's blocked my email address
- he hates me and is ignoring me
- he has figured out that i'm psychotic
- he doesn't want to seem too eager by replying quickly (yes!)
- he doesn't know who i am
- he hates me
- he hates me
- also, he hates me
so. one of those things. i haven't narrowed it down yet.

* i think i helped a cougar today try on dresses, including one that i had to zip up for her that she tried on because it was "a bit sexier" than the other one. she showed me her stomach after lamenting that she felt self-conscious in the pants she had tried on, you know, after having three kids and all. she got the response she was looking for because i told her she didn't have anything to worry about, although i think i might have drawn too much attention to my own gut by saying, "hey, i haven't had any kids, and i've got more to worry about!" i took off the tax for her so her no-good husband and brats would escape her mind, for just a second at least, as she felt rrrowrsexy for this little lesbian behind the counter.

* i spent most of the day wondering what it is with straight women, and what it really is with straight women and ME - do they say these things and want me to zip up their dresses because they figure that they are safe with me, another "straight" woman? ho ho ho! or is it that they know i'm a dyke (good god, how could they not??) and are doing a little ungodly flirting? these sheltered housewives looking for a little affirmation? and touchy straight women kinda weird me out, too - like this new chick at the store who apparently works on the same level as her kids (never.a.good.thing.) and touched my arm once. i kinda looked at it, looked at her, and thought "she doesn't know what she's getting into with all that touchiness! i'm a DANGEROUS LESBIAN, dammit!" sheesh. where are those people who think that because you're of the same sex and a Hhhomosexual, you will pounce? because, uhh, frankly, i'll pounce if you let me. no i won't. yes i will. no i won't.

* since i have no money but DO have a little weed, i will probably have my usual "socks-is-away" ritual of smoking myself silly stoned, eating mayonnaise out of the jar, and falling asleep on the couch with my hands down my pants. i figure i could change it up a little by also maybe drinking alone in a bar, coming home and crying over the LACK OF RESPONSE to my Prof. Hottie email. either plan is sounding good right now.

* only iota can save me from such a fate.

* bee-cuz ah cain't get eeenuff of your looove, ah cain't get eeenuff of your loove...

* aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggghhhhh.