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oh man. i just clicked "send" on an email to Prof. Hottie. i wrestled with it for ages, but i just had to do it. i wrestled with what i was going to say, what i wasn't, and that blasted subject line. what to call it? uggggh. i think i made it relevant and not self-indulgent, and not even stalker-ish, which is obviously a tough thing to do, since i am such a freakin' electrostalker....ugggggh. but i did it, and it's out of my hands, and i did it, and maybe he'll reply with two words - like, "go away!" mmmmmmmaybe. in a way, it's like i am wishing that, so i can moooove on.

and now it's raining, so i think i'll practice the art of malaise and walk over to the other college in the rain in order to pick up my Big Fat Polish Paper.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggggghhhhhh! why am i me sometimes??? wait a minute, ALL OF THE TIME???