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i think i'm on track. i had my "i am such a fucking idiot" freak-out last night, with regards to the essays and such. it was most likely spurned by a call from Prof. Prick, my independent research supervisor, after all these months. he said, "it would have been nice to see you this semester!" to which i was like, "yeah, it would have...asshole!" but of course i was only "like" that, i wasn't actually "saying" that. i lied and said that everything was fine and on track, and i was just in the process of putting it all together. of course, i didn't mention that my mother is specifically in town this weekend to HELP me put it all together. help me mommy.

i started an outline for the essay for Prof. Hottie, and am feeling good about that. not only because he wore a BERET yesterday (i nearly peed myself with excitement...and spent the rest of the class eyeing him up and down and grrrrowling in my head), but because after class we had our shared "moment," thanks to the stupid flippy-haired creampuff interview girl. first i commented on the readings for that day and how they helped with my topic, and maybe i would focus on GENDER instead of just representation of women, and he said, "you don't have to follow anything, just do what you want to do..." - like, a testament to my brilliance or something! i said, "original thought? i couldn't possibly do that!" hahaha, aren't i a funny onegrrrOWLL! then he asked "so what did you think of that thing tuesday?" and i was quite flustered that he would even give a crap. it was beautiful.

that fucking beret made my day, though.