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it's my duty to tell you what a loser i've been.

i have class tonight, the first of the new semester, and man, i did NOTHING during the holidays. it's starting to eat away at my stomach lining, all that guilt and regret. i like to compound my problems so that all the little things become one huge, hungry, slimy monster and i think i might be doing that now.

well, i suppose that they are not even "little" problems in their own right, but they would be solved with the right amount of effort and dilligence. an added feature to compounding your problems is that they suddenly affect each other in a perilous high-wire balance act. i will show you.

* problem number one: my weight. ok, this is nothing new, but i was happier to maintain my gargantuan gut rather than expand it. now the pant count is hovering around 3 pairs that fit. i can't buy new pants, not only because trying things on is torturous and pathetic, but because i don't have money.

* problem number two: money. as mentioned in problem number one, i needs it. i don't gots it. i was "let go" from my job, on which i placed all my precious moments figurines (of sorts) and that shakey structure just toppled and smashed them all. i have bills to pay, rent to pay, school to pay, books to buy, food to eat (wait, that can cancel out problem number one), etc. i hate money!

* problem number three: school. as i've already stated, i didn't do a lick of reading over the holidays. wait, that's a lie. i *did* read, just not stuff for school. so i left that book with my mother, where i could not reach it, even if i was elasticman. now i'm going to have to rush through yet another harrowing analysis of holocaust survivor stories. i didn't realize that course was fucking me up so much when i went to the library and saw that i really, really DIDN'T want to take out the video series on the nazis. a first. the money situation also affects school, re: the books, the tuition. getting a new job, a steady part-time thing, will adversely affect all that non-studying i do.

* problem number 4: time. time is money. i have no money. i need time to work out and get rid of my fat ass. i have no time for such frivolity. i need time to catch up on all that studying i didn't do. i need time to get and have a job. i need time to do all that stupid "independent research" that this semester calls for.

and so the circle of life continues.

see?

minor to major stress in just a few easy steps.