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happy birthday mom. you'd better not be reading this.

i'm getting really frustrated these days with my so-called "in-laws". this is the ultimate relationship hell because you can't really discuss it with your partner. no matter how much someone complains about his/her mother, YOU CANNOT COMPLAIN! ever! never ever ever. i mean, i wouldn't be able to handle it. i can kind of handle it with my dad, but that's because he is so far beyond normal.

anyway, i feel like my girlfriend's mother is either 1)sticking her nose in my business or 2)sabotaging my girlfriend's independence at every turn. no, i don't want to talk to you on the phone. i'm sorry, but my dinner is burning. no, i'm not going to tell you what i want to do with my life. i have enough people i have to constantly explain myself and my choices to. i am nothing like your daughter, and i really don't want another parent. i'm fine. i'm fine. i'm fine!

my god.

my girlfriend wonders why she gets into a mad panic whenever she goes home. she feels like she's 16 again. hmm, could it be the fact that your mom will absolutely not let you grow up? but she stands for it, no, she agrees with it. she feels that it's her parents house, and despite the fact she's nearly 25, she should follow their rules as long as she's there.

i say no.

i say, guess what mom? i smoke pot, and i'm going out to smoke a j on the patio right now. why? 'cause i would be doing it somewhere else right now. 'cause you know i'm an adult. 'cause you don't WANT me to tip-toe around you. my mom watched me smoke a cigarette, after several pints of beer and exclaimed, "oh, look at the PLEASURE!" because i told her flat out that when i drink, i loooove to smoke. this is k, version 22 yrs. old and away from home for 5 yrs. this is independent k, with her own life, sooo not the choices my mom would make, or maybe she would.

i'm trying not to compare situations, but it's inevitable. i just wish that the rules HER mom imposes on her would not be imposed similarly on me.

please please please.