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oh, there are several random thoughts floating around my head at the moment. i've lamented my lack of internet access many-a-time lately since i've had so many random, and even not-so-random, thoughts.

so i went to see fred again (i don't think i mentioned this) and he thought i had lost a bunch of weight, but that's because he's on fine-grade psychiatrist-acquired crack. then i told him in a most spazzy manner how everyone seemed to treat me differently these days. this includes them seeing me, i believe, as more aggressive. it doesn't help that i'm sleep-deprived when i talk about these things, in that "why is everybody treating me like i'm crazy i'm not crazy do you have any coffee shit i could sure use a coffee right now what do you think this spot on my arm is i think it's cancer but i don't know i won't see a doctor it takes too long to get an appointment...etc." way. so my hypochondriacal nature served to send me to a lab for bloodwork to check my hormone levels as well as the gamut of other things they measure from the many, many, many vials they take. apparently i racked up $700-$800 worth of testing. i like to help health care workers keep busy, you know.

right now i'm noticing hot flashes. whuh-hey, this could have something to do with the fact that i'm having trouble having a normal, longer-than-a-day period. maybe i'm menopausal! FINALLY! that would explain it. thank god; i couldn't waste my youth fast enough.

i've invited my new roommate (other than my brother) over for lasagna and to drop off the deposit, but he said "i'll stop by on the way home" so either he ignored my "i'm making lasagna" hint or he didn't get it. or he hates me. i vote for the third, i will always go with "s/he hates me" over anything else, even if it's more logical. how many times have i concluded professor hottie's hate for me, when logically he has no feeling - nay, PASSION - for me whatsoever?

i'm a good worker. i have two jobs where the employer likes me very very much. i am so pleasant and efficient. what a good worker bee i can be.

something is wrong with the world when i'm actually appreciated at work. that never happens. i mean, usually, everybody hates me, right?