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jeezuz christ, where to begin...i think it's time for ANOTHER LIST!

* work is not only killing me, but getting me into shape. my arms are a bit buffer than usual. i'm still working on the arm-flaps, though. my triceps seem firmer, but unflexed, flaps still persist. what gives? fucking flaps.

* i signed a lease for the hovel, er, apartment i'm in right now - my current roommates are leaving so i am moving my brother back in (noooooooooooooooooo!) and this guy, I. (for now), a friend of my roommate E. i am looking forward to it, but the financial responsibility overwhelmed me, not to mention the signifying of closing a chapter of my life, etc. etc. blah blah waaaaaaah. i cried and had a panic attack after doing the deed. hey, that actually makes sense in this situation - "doing the deed" - sort of. shut up.

* smoking, drinking. drinking, smoking. sleeping, not sleeping. aggggggggh

* i don't have friends anymore. i don't know where they went.

* so hyper-stressed about money again. need $4000 for the first installment of my tuition for grad school by aug 31st. applied for OSAP but of course didn't press "submit" until yesterday. unnngh.

* do you notice the prevalence of frustrated noises? many frustrated, stomach-clutching (or more specifically, ulcer-clutching) noises being made.

* no hot bitches to speak of. apparently they've been "checking me out" but i think that's just a pack of lies. i only look good head-on, and i would notice if someone were checking me out - head-on.

unnnnnnnnnnnnngh.

raining. want to go home and eat hot and sour soup. but i have $19 in my bank account, and i can only take out 20 dollar bills....mooooooooo