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yesterday was one of those bright shining lights in life. i got together with my old middle school guidance counsellor, let's just call her...Mrs. G. now, i've known this woman since i was a mere 13 year-old near-psychopath, and though it has been re-contextualized as a more social setting (though what could be more social than going to someone's office every day for 2 years and expressing how much you are a loser and hate yourself?) i still have problems uttering her first name. the last time i saw her was when i was 16, but i'll admit that now, at 25, it was a little easier. but it's also tempered by the fact that you don't really need to USE someone's first name when you are speaking directly to them. and she always refers to her husband as "my husband" though i know HIS first name. so. i don't know what my point was.

anyway. we walked around the university campus, and she hit on a university cop with her sweet-as-honey midwestern twang and surprisingly cougar-esque confidence (something you don't really pick up on at a younger age, i suppose) and she made me feel less of a stalker and more normal about the whole Prof. H. obsession. though, since the woman DOES know me well, she asked "have you stalked him?" in what i can only assume was pure seriousness. "because i know you stalked mr. rose on occasion..." agggh, she'll be called as a character witness at the murder trial now, for sure.

it felt great to be confident in her presence, rather than the aching, angsty wreck i had been in my younger days. then again, i didn't feel as though i had anything to prove; i've often met people from my past with the intention of erasing all memory of that embarrassing younger me, and replacing it will well-established, mentally-sound me. it rarely works as i'll reveal some recent failing such as "it took me 6 years to get out of university" or "i worked at the gap, then a bike shop, now i stock produce." surely the whole fancy-degree-and-high-esteem-from-hot-professors thing masks those downfalls, too, no?

i miss having someone like Mrs. G around. as much as i felt doubt as a near-suicidal younger teenager, especially regarding those whose job it was to keep me from killing myself, i never doubted that she actually liked me for who i was, and listened to what i had to say. i am sure the thought crossed my mind that she was exasperated by my constant shadow-like presence, but she was (and i'm sure still is) the master of disguising any negative thoughts directed your way. but also incredibly sincere and truthful.

and she hates her mother-in-law, and vice-versa.

how cool.