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tonight we snuggle.

a directive from mission command, explicitly to make me feel better. how can i argue with that?

i've had this stinking headache all day, since i woke up late and well, i won't get into it. a stupid headache for a stupid girl.

just how stupid was proved to me when i opened my exam this afternoon. the first two questions of the final were the same questions as on the midterm. one of them i even knew the answer to...when i wrote the midterm. not today.

i don't think i've seen anyone behave like me in an exam. constantly shifting, grabbing head, rubbing temples, head on desk, quietly cursing self. i have "GIVE THIS ONE AN F" written across my forehead.

i felt so sick, too - the headache has worked its charms on my tummy, making me nauseous. headache monsters have also been dispatched to my internal thermostat, turning it way up , then way down, hee hee hee isn't that fun?

i had several stupid songs racing through my head rather loudly as i tried to relate cross-modal matching to piaget's six stages of sensori-motor development and object concept. one was that horrible "if you could read my mind" song originally by gordon lightfoot - but this was the dance version so popular with the drag queens last summer. then when i read the words "stroop test" that beach boys song from "pet sounds" came into my head, the John B. Sloop or something "i wanna go home, let me go home, ooh wooah-oh...i feel so broke up, i wanna go home..."

we got our papers back after the test (i did my wait-wait-wait-till someone else hands in their test first trick) and the prof himself gave me mine and said "thank you." i already have my theories about this guy, involving an incident where both of us were standing around outside the building after class...wandering, standing. hmmm. that little tiny part of my brain that actually thinks i'm attractive or at least molestable in some way thought 'what is he doing...he wants me baaaaaad...'

i went to the bathroom and looked at my fetching yellow-and-red reflection. my puffy eyes, pupils all wonky with sick...pimples and red spots on my face from some strange mania of my skin. my little-chicken-dyke haircut, emphasizing the roundness of my face. yeah, he wants me baaaaaaad....

my lovely girl who believes in me and thinks i'm so smart will meet me after her shrink appointment. her shrink soon to be mine. ha! we all need shrinks, i suppose it's only economical of us to share.

i hope i feel better because this is crap.