�

tingly foot tingly foot tingly foot!

i have a big wooden chair at my desk, and it makes you sit all-proper-like, but i like sitting cross-legged. my limbs go dead a lot from it. maybe i should get an elevated bean bag chair for the desk - yeaaaah. then i would never leave the computer. talk about prolific.

yesterday, i went into work to get a few hours worth of spare change. my boss left me at 5, and told me to write down when i left. of COURSE i messed around a bit (just *had* to look through the martha stewart book i bought my girlfriend - but from a used bookstore, so martha won't see a dime. heh heh, stick it to ya, bitch!) but i continued working until 6.30. i don't have keys to the office, and no pass card for the elevator, so if i was to leave, it would be for good.

i felt quite happy about my day of productivity, even if it only amounted to $35. that's CANADIAN. so a very short day of productivity. i exited the elevator at the lobby and sort of held my breath as i pushed open the first set of glass doors. the building was completely empty, so i think i had some anxiety that i had been locked in.

i was right.

i got to the second set of glass doors and they wouldn't budge. not even the so-called "locked-until-an-emergency exit" door. i had seen that the corridor leading to the back entrace had also been blocked off. the downstairs corridor was locked, as well.

there was a glass door connecting to the skanky cafe ("coffee, tea, or me?" seriously. that's its name.) but it had a menacing sign that read "this door automatically locks on these times blah blah you are going to have to sleep in the building, k, on the lobby floor, for the rats and janitors to find you and laugh, all because you worked on a saturday, muhahahahahah!" perhaps i'm paraphrasing too loosely.

i knocked on the door and the stupid girl behind the counter tried to open it, shrugged her shoulders, and pointed to the sign. yes, thanks, I READ the sign. i looked for another route out.

i travelled up the maze of the back stairwell, thinking "how would macgyver act in this situation?" would he pull the fire alarm simply for the doors to open, then calmly walk away from the building as emergency crews rushed to "save" it? 'cause that's what i was thinkin', and it seemed pretty good to me...

i found the back door to the outside parking lot. of COURSE, it too, was locked. after some more panicked pacing, i returned to this door. there was a button beside it, but i couldn't read what it said. "LOUD ALARM AND BRIGHT LIGHTS" was my first thought. desperate, i pushed it anyway, hoping that it was an automatic opener for wheelchairs. i hoped that the handicapped were given "lock-vetoing powers". i was wrong.

the door still didn't budge, so, exasperated, i rested my head on the cool glass. and it opened beneath me.

and that was it.

walking past the ground floor back entrance, i saw the lesbian running shop owner walking down the corridor, whistling and twirling her keys. so i would have been saved anyway. i went back into the cafe to tell the stupid girl that i was alright and out, but she seemed to have forgotton who i was. the blank look in her eyes told me she had no clue what i was talking about.

i walked out onto the street, happy to be free, and saw two ne'er-do-wells exit those front entrance glass doors.

defeated, i took the crowded streetcar home, only to find i couldn't open my front door.