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what? no more entries at crazy times? no! the essay has been handed in. does it make sense? probably not. was it on the topic given? probably not. do you or i care? most definitely not!

vocation vocation vocation. what colour is YOUR parachute? i am finding it very difficult to find that side of me that would appeal to an employer like, say, starbucks. i mean, that side of me comes out when i am working in that horrible shit job; i was a damn fine gap employee. however, being able to present that side while handing in a resume or application is quite trying.

i had my resume critiqued yesterday afternoon, which was a pat-on-the-back occasion for me, since i can't take criticism. ESPECIALLY not "constructive" criticism. but luckily, the critique-giver was very gentle. perhaps she has had other morons like me burst into tears when told "maybe you should have a separate section for computer skills..." so i left feeling ok. not about my resume or my job prospects, of course, but just glad that she didn't yell at me or make me cry. (simple pleasures these days, folks)

i need more "action verbs."

my loserbrother and i were sitting in tim horton's - my treat to him - staring at the application. for those of you NOT canadian (is it possible?), tim horton's is a donut/coffee chain parodied in "wayne's world" as "stan makita's" - tim horton was also a hockey player. there is no fancy sugar-and-cream counter with wooden stir sticks, such as what you would find at starbucks. they do all that dirty work for you. the most popular way to order coffee in canada? the "double double" - two shots of cream, two sugars. i always order my coffee this way at tim's, so not to upset the social order. it ends up tasting like warm melted coffee ice cream. mmmm...

canadians are very particular about ol' timmy's - they, simply put, become addicts and refuse to branch out, spitting out quality kenya blends, crying "this isn't a double double!" there is a simple explanation - also a possible urban myth. my brother's coworker's friend (yep) divulged the secret tim horton's coffee recipe after having a bad reaction once. the secret ingredient? nikoteene. who needs the smoke when it's in the coffee? i say they are doing a public service.

anyway, loserbro and i were staring at the applications, wondering if this was is - time to pander ourselves to the lowest common denomitor - "next, please. is that all? no muffin? no timbits? NOTHING ELSE???" then we thought of ways to fill out the application that would make us seem like cold, quiet psychos.

they wear hairnets at tim horton's. mmmm. am i ready for a hairnet?