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i have to get home soon. i've got to take the kitty to the vet. no problems or anything, but socks is mega-paranoid that i am starving her cats to death. um, yeah. because i do not fall victim to their games of "meow till you feed us, more, more MORE!" so yeah, we've got to take the cat to the vet so socks can get verification that her cat is underweight (apparently EVERYONE has noticed. that's TWO PEOPLE. THEY have NOTICED.) and tell me what a lousy parent i am.

i nearly ruined our 2 anna half year anniversary dinner by saying that i know she thinks my parents are the worst parents in the world, but...

and i didn't really get to finish the thought, but i really wanted to at least put it out there.

then i had to apologize for apparently making up things. despite the fact that she really does, indeed, hate my parents.

i'm also getting a lot of feedback that maybe, just maybe, i'm in a kinda-sorta-abusive relationship? just because i'm not really "allowed" to do things, like "go out" and "see my friends." i'm still thinking about all this.

i've been telling fred a lot of ex-treeem-ely personal stuff. s-e-x stuff. not like, how i like it up the butt or anything. BECAUSE I DON'T, let's just get that cleared up...but how i've always felt really wrong, like "bad! bad! pervert!" wrong all my life, and gee, does it ever make me want to cry when i talk about it! he says it's like this weird transformation because i'm usually pretty open and talkative, but i get really shy and embarrassed when i talk about it. but that i'm very productive at therapy. i just said that i've been practicing for years.

imagine, my one true talent - i am good at therapy. yay.

anyway. i just spent about an hour fixing my archive pages. i like noting my productivity, or lack thereof. and i LOOOOVE saying "or lack thereof."

and "thus"