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i wrote an entry a couple of days ago but it got eaten. it was pretty whiney and weird and just dealt with how apathetic and bored i was that day, so it's probably for the best.

so. it seems i have a little problem. this kind of problem. no, i'm not being charged - ha! it seems fitting, but no. i'm a bit of a...*ugh* victim, it seems. this guy came back to the store on saturday night, when it was closed and i was alone. he then came back yesterday, around 5 o'clock (on his way home from work) and looked around a lot and acted suspiciously, left, came back in immediately...looked like he was trying to steal this oversized computer bag...hm.

and i am so fucking creeped out by him. he looks "so normal" to everyone else, and he did to me at one point, but now i see potential criminal in his eyes. an obvious creepiness and my heart racing in fear, something that pisses me off.

it's funny that no matter how confident, logical, educated i can be, i always harbored this irrationality that said i was too ugly to be victimized "as a woman" - fully aware that it has little to do with attractiveness. then i just attributed my luck to my "tough dyke" vibes, or that asexual stink, or SOMETHING.

this guy pisses me off, and should piss off other decent men, because he is ruining decent men for me. he is making me stamp every guy who comes into the store as a potential victimizer, something that i don't want to do.

and stamping myself as the eternal potential victim...