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so professor hottie hasn't replied to the email i sent him yesterday. no, i'm not hyperventilating here. *breathe, breathe, breathe*

so fred has connected my love of Professor Hottie to mr. rose (thanks to my own admittal of a connection) to issues with my father. duh. or at least to issues of my sense of rejection that i am *STILL* dealing with. the "like me! like me! like me lots!" thing. however, i told him that i do want more from prof hottie, more than just his approval of my superior intelligence, more than just his warmth...i have those dirty feelings, too. such dirty, dirty...feelings.

i don't know...i'm already having trouble sleeping and eating. maybe at this rate, it will all be over by next week, and i'll hate him by the week after that.

maybe this is all due to the trauma of the flashing. what, i didn't write about this? ugh. well, a guy came into the store on the very lazy sunday before christmas and tried on some [women's] track pants, and essentially was trying to show me his bits. then he was being ultra-creepy saying "maybe i should try on this blouse...would you like that? would you like to see me in this shirt?" get out before i slam this metal dustpan across your face. he did, but i HAVE seen him since, passing by as i ate brunch. i was glad that i could recognize him (handy for avoiding his pervertedness) but i did get a little twinge of fear.

trauma sucks. but hot german profs are...well, hot.