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things to do for january 2005:

- financial: create a budget. learn to split up the house bills so i'm not covering them. begin buying-for-self ban.

- health: take pills every day like a good little soldier. return to social smoking and/or switch to light[er] brand of cigarettes. relegate pot smoking to once a week (no school nights!). look up programs at school athletic center. set up regular appointment times with fucking fred. look for new doctor if first few appointments are not satisfactory.

- school: do school stuff. do it on time. don't slack. go to the library to read much more often. write drafts and outlines for projects much sooner.

- social: hmmmm...tough one. though i DO want to return to hermit status, i can't assess wether that would be good or bad for me. at this very moment i would like to forsake all things social, but fear this would be "giving up". it would also negate my efforts to smoke less pot. so let's try..being more social, but not trying so hard to date. dating is shit and i don't know how to do it, and i'm not looking for anyone and certainly don't want anyone to fall in love with me...(i'm coming to realize that despite my best efforts, this sort of shit could actually happen) perhaps reactivate cross-border booty-call system? it seemed to do the trick before.

- home: strip apart room, paint it, get loft bed from ikea, put everything back together again, love it, feel comfortable.

- ex-factor: see socks more? see socks less? again, can't figure out which would be more beneficial. stop thinking about next month's absent anniversary, or the fact that i'm like 3 or so months away from having been split-up for a year. also stop thinking about charlotte from sex in the city's calculation that it takes you half the time of the relationship to get over the person, so that would be like 2 years and a bit. stop thinking.

this is all for fucking january, mind you.

fucking progression of time...fucking hate it.