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jan 13 2015
annual update; still aging

Jan 13 2014
alive2014

april 26 2010
not the entry i wanted to write

nov 13 2009
polar extremes

sep 21 2009
cure for angst is dictatorship

not her, meeeeee jan 16 2003 - 5.19 pm

oh, you didn't think i'd let you get away with NOT hearing how my class went, did you ?? ha! silly you!

well, i spoke up (Victory #1) and made a wickedly intelligent and insightful bunch of comments (Victory #2) and i THOUGHT that i was losing it and would trail off into incoherent mutterings, but i didn't! (Victory #3) yeah! i rokk!

but then? my hand wouldn't stop shaking as i tried to take notes, and i felt like bursting into tears. (that surge of adrenaline leaves you emotionally exhausted). i couldn't stop just staring at him thinking "god, i want you" and kind of hoping that he could/couldn't read thoughts.

but i've got a problem, dear diary. a problem even bigger than THIS problem? you ask. well. IT might BE.

there is this girl in class, who was in the same Holocaust class as me last year. i thought that she was pretty attractive, no, even HOTT. but in this class? she opened her mouth and lots of obvious statements came out, very loudly. i thought that this was a point for me, as she was no match for my intelligence, even though she thinks she can wear a hat even jauntier than i. but alas! our seats have been chosen by our complacent asses, and hers is definitely TOO close to HIS. and he happens to look over at her an awful lot for my liking. hmmm.

but she was making some huge gaffes today, boy howdy! coming out of leftfield with loud questions about movies. and we'd have to get back on track after she was finished indulging herself. but this could also work against me! she's standing out! she is drawing attention to herself, attention that should be placed on my insightful and remarkable (not to mention confident) comments! aggh!

hmm. must not think in these terms. i get all vietcong in my head, sharpening bamboo into wee spears to hide in boobie traps.

ps - i've opened a new diary; some bastard took the name i wanted, so i've had to call it something else. but perhaps i'll never get around to really creating it, so it might not even matter. see, i've saved up all my blathering for now, so i wouldn't do it in class.

last time***next time