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i've been procrastinating over this stupid paper for the last hour and a half, and i've discovered something - in january, i was quite the good little writer! nice, compelling entries there. right amount of wank, tears, laughter - oh, it's all there. perhaps i shall review each month's work. not narcisstic AT ALL.

(but seriously, it's all because i simply forget what i write! my mother informed me this weekend that i had more than one concussion-inducing fall as a child! this is very significant. i think.)

i'm wondering if i will keep this whole "happiness" thing up (unmedicated, too! is this a parallel universe? am i the evil one? where's my goatee?) throughout the winter. i doubt it. daylight savings time struck and bam, so did wee bites of melancholia. "oh..*sigh*...it gets dark so early these days...it's so depressing...oh look, a three-legged dog. isn't life a cruel mistress? etc." i didn't really see a three-legged dog, by the way. but i'm sure i'd be pretty sad if i did see one.

so they say that it's not a matter of "if" but of "when" the city i live in is subjected to some form of terrorism. GREAT. i don't like that one bit, because i like to magnify those so-called "remote" possibilities until i paralyze with fear. or give myself reasons to not do schoolwork, as the case may be.

and anthrax? bring it on. it won't matter for me; my body is probably so resistant to antibiotics by now, having lived on a steady diet of them since a very early age. i tend to get "unresponsive" throat/nose/ear infections that last and last...hell, i've had chicken pox MORE thank once. my immune system is a little out of whack.

speaking of whack, i am totally not understanding the sopranos these days. i miss one episode and it's all gone to hell! not like days of our lives, now THERE'S a show you can fall back into! storylines move at a crushed snail's pace. perfect for the commitment phobic soap-watcher, like me.

can you tell i'm completely exhausted, yet fueled by halloween candy? oh yes indeedy.

i think i'll need another glass of water, a multivitamin, and some more snack size skittles and hershey caramel bars.