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so i had my last exam last night. let's just say i went out with a thud. it was terrible. *I* am terrible. ugh.

so now i've been thinking about how my grades suck and i'll never go to graduate school, so maybe i should re-apply for a specialist instead and boost my gpa? but then i wouldn't get my "year off" to work and hate life, and i should just stop trying to sabotage myself into staying in school forever. but then i thought, am i any good at this at all? what about becoming a postal worker? didn't i once say i would be extremely content doing that?

unnnnnnnnnnnnngh.

PLUS there is this documentary showing at the german institute in town and i want to see it, but it's at 7.30 and i'm working tonight until about then, and i couldn't possibly explain that to socks.

unnnnnnnnnnngh.

and i wonder when/if/why i'll see prof. hottie again, and i'm consumed until then with how bad i must look, and how dumb my hair must be, and how i don't want that lump in my throat to grow.