�

my job does not *really* involve being a courier, but i've taken it upon myself to deliver/pick up tests from a certain building on the east side of the campus, as it contains the french and...german departments. i've taken two excursions in the past two weeks, with no Prof. Hottie-sighting success. it's been pathetic and depressing.

but you know what they say,

third time's a charm.

fate/god/allah was intervening this time around. i was struck by my nervous bladder on the way over on this morning's impromptu delivery. "should i go pee? yes, i should go pee...but what if i miss him because i went to go pee?" i imagined myself returning to the office with a sorry tale of wetting myself in his presence because of NOT going pee before hand. i decided to stop in a building and go pee, and perhaps primp a little more.

thank you god/allah/fates.

i approached The Building and the big wooden door slowly opened to reveal...Prof. H! AND he was wearing his black beret and rain coat that i have been anticipating all season. luckily, he was in no hurry, and if so, didn't show it. we talked about why i was there - my job - and about how it turned out he had had more students with disabilities than he thought. this being one of the first things he brought up meant that he had obviously thought about it - in that way that i have to come up with things to discuss the next time i see him, so i'm not left a blabbering idiot - he does the same. *sigh* but that could be because he's socially adept, not because he loves me and is obsessing over me. no, that couldn't be it.

i told him that my second choice school had rejected my grad school application, and he thought it odd - so i have to stay at u of t now...yes, it made the decision that much easier. he said, "well, u of t is better anyway..." hee hee. shhhh. then we talked about the faculty here, and he was giving me this "you'll be alright" kinda thing, referring to different profs.

then as we parted ways, i said, "oh yes, i must get those things i brought back from poland for you, so we should meet up for that..." trail trail trail off. you can go now. "back to work..."

i looked into his eyes quite a bit, giving myself the excuse of his captivating glasses. i looked at his wedding ring. i looked at the razor burn on his adam's apple. i looked at his hairline beneath his beret. i looked at his shirt. i played it calm, cool, and totally not obsessed, however, and my heart did not leap into my throat, since i was so damn prepared after all the frustrated attempts - it was like, "i have nothing left to lose. my pride is so far gone already."

and i think i was feeling extra-prepared for the interaction since a good looking lad of a student asked me for a cigarette outside the library and struck up a conversation with me, asked my name, and even telling a story which required him to pat me on the arm. my man-vibe was on.

look out, men! the man-vibe is in full force today!